We focus so much of our lives on finding success in our careers and finances, establishing material wealth, building our businesses, caring for our families, etc. that we often overlook the most important person in our existence – our self – and the most basic tenet for a truly successful life – achieving true happiness.
Something as simple as happiness should come naturally to us, like breathing, but thanks to the stresses and challenges in life, many people have become confused. They’ll be happy “when”… They put conditions on being happy that makes it difficult to achieve in the here and now. Some people have forgotten how to be happy!
If this sounds like you, here are some helpful tips to bring joy back into your life…
We are all connected, yet we are each unique and have special gifts and talents. We are ALL ‘okay’! We also tend to label everything as right or wrong, good or bad, etc. Shift to the belief that no one is right or wrong, good or bad … they just are and accept that. Doing so will ‘free’ you!
Release concern about others judging you! What is right for you does not have to be right for another. It is easier to be yourself when you stop coming from a place of wondering who or what is judging you!
Don’t try to change or improve others to meet your standards or to believe what you believe. You are not responsible for others in this way – again, free yourself!
Are you unhappy at work, in a relationship, with your appearance, etc? What’s stopping you from changing this? People become stuck because of fear… fear of failing, fear of ridicule, fear of the unknown … Identify your fears and work to overcome them.
What ‘steps’ can you start taking today that will result in how you want things to be? Small steps will still get you to that ‘destination’, but you’ll never get there if you don’t make a start!
Get rid of negative self-beliefs… I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. If your life depended on finding good things within yourself, you’d find them… start looking!
We fret over everything as if we’re supposed to be perfect in everything we do. We put ourselves down at the slightest imperfection. Well, everybody makes mistakes – learn from them, let them go, and move on!
Know your values! We have our own sense of integrity and we are happiest when our goals and achievements match our principles. As we move towards the habits that align with our integrity, we feel good about ourselves.
Know, specifically, what makes you feel happiness, otherwise, how do you expect to bring this into your life if you don’t know what it is?
Self-improvement! When we develop ourselves, we eliminate many disbeliefs about ourselves; we stop putting ourselves down; we see possibilities; we feel peaceful, optimistic and joyous; and we have more fun.
When was the last time you laughed at yourself, or at anything? Can’t find your sense of humor? Seek out funny movies, funny books, or read the jokes pages on the web. Start with a chuckle and work your way up!
“Lighten up” is a popular phrase for good reason. We have a tendency to take ourselves, our work, and our relationships too seriously. Some things are serious, but for the rest, keep it in perspective!
Think back to being a child, running around the playground, laughing, catching fireflies, and rolling in the snow. Remember how you felt, how you were silly and didn’t care if anybody looked at you? What would it take to recreate those feelings today?
As we become adults we forget what it’s like to play games - we’re too concerned about how other people will perceive us. What are you afraid of? Has it occurred to you that others may think, “Gosh, I wish I wasn’t so hung-up so I could do that too!”?
Do something completely out of character and childish this week. Go buy a silly toy. One of my clients plays with Mr. Potato Head! Find a way of making a heavy situation become light by asking yourself, “How would I respond to this if I were a child?”
Give other people permission to laugh. Put a clown’s nose on in the car and wave to other people as you drive around. Think of all the ways that you can play games and have fun, and do that with other people you come in contact with everyday.
Identify your Stress triggers! Our fast-paced lives, job pressures, the environment, etc. all lead to an excess of stressors for us. Manage your stress with Meditation, hobbies, exercise, yoga, nature walks, friends, etc.
Don’t say “I’ll be happy if…” or “I’ll be happy when…”. You only have “now” – you cannot live in the future until it becomes your present – your ‘now’. You have no choice – it’s be happy “now” or never!
Finally, don’t put conditions on your happiness! Happiness is a state of mind, regardless of our situation. Happiness is a choice we make. Choose to be happy today!
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