Depending on who you ask, you will get varying answers to the question of whether working overtime is worth it or not.  The general consensus of opinion is negative, with research finding that working overtime has been linked to anxiety and depression. Yet clearly, not everyone who works overtime suffers either of these conditions… so what gives?

In pretty much every country in the world, workers are busy working overtime, whether it is staying at work longer, taking work home with them during the week and on weekends or even taking it on holidays with them.  When you work overtime, you are missing out on precious time you could be spending with family and friends or doing activities that make your life fulfilling and enjoyable and that contribute to your physical and mental health and wellbeing. Working overtime can also provide valuable extra income or flexible hours when you can take time off during the day when you need to, that is, provided you have a mutually satisfying agreement with your employer to enable that.

A business will most likely never ask you to stop doing overtime if they don’t have an agreement with you in place to compensate you, because the extra productivity they are getting at your expense costs them nothing!  The extra productivity helps them move towards their goals more quickly – they’re not about to complain.

The problem is what are you getting out of doing all that extra overtime?  What goals of your own are being worked towards or achieved, such as a promotion… payrise… bonus… etc.

Doing overtime is not a problem if it is something you rarely need to do and when you do it, you are compensated in some way.  It becomes a problem when you are doing it regularly for no more reward and your own goals are not being achieved.

Some people are required to work extra hours as part of a productivity agreement, but with this there is known  and mutually agreed compensation, however, what about those people who are doing overtime because they are overloaded with work and this is the only way they can keep on top of things? When this occurs constantly and there is no easing up, this will lead to anxiety and poor  health.  For your physical and emotional well-being, you need “time out” to relax and recharge your batteries. If you don’t, you will suffer burn out.  Not only is this detrimental to the individual, it will wreak havoc with their productivity at work.  In the long run, requiring an employee to continuously work overtime will backfire.

Some people are natural work horses and thrive on working extra hours in their career, regardless of whether the extra time is acknowledged and compensated for or not.  These are people who are also climbing a ladder of sorts, hoping for promotion, salary increases, time off, etc. or maybe they have other vested interests – either they are a part owner or shareholder.  Most other people are not programmed that way and need a more even work/life balance.  Even when compensated, too much overtime requirement is enough to lead to stress and loss of job satisfaction and productivity.

Those who are not particularly interested in their work in the first place are very likely to suffer anxiety and stresses when required to spend longer hours doing the very thing they dislike.  On the other hand, those who love what they do and maybe don’t even consider what they do “work”, are happy to put in the extra time with no ill effects.  Either way, it is only right that the benefits be mutual.

So, if a company wants to reach its goals quicker by getting more productivity out of its workforce and they are not prepared to put on extra staff and expect their existing staff to work overtime, what needs to be done? Compensating employees for extra productivity is a whole other article and it stands to reason that businesses must negotiate with their staff.  On an individual level, however, if an employee is suffering anxiety and stress having to do overtime, what do they need to do? 

A serious problem exists if employees are going into work early, working through breaks and staying back late on a regular basis because it is expected of them to do what it takes to get the job done. If this is rewarded and doesn’t happen every week and the employee is able to enjoy a healthy work/life balance for the majority of the time then there is no problem.  However, if this occurs regularly and the extra overtime isn’t putting a dent in your to-do list and you are not being recognized or rewarded, it’s time to speak up and review your situation. If you don’t, you are working for nothing.

When we start to arrive earlier, work through breaks, and stay back late, we often create a rod for our own back, especially if we say nothing.  You will be taken for granted and the company will think you are quite okay with what you are doing and may not even be aware you are working such long hours.  If you have created this habit for yourself, it is up to you to break it otherwise the extra time you are putting in will be expected from the company as opposed to being appreciated (and rewarded!)  Speak to your managers, explain you have created an unhealthy work/life balance for yourself and will be reverting to normal working hours in future, while making it clear they can still rely on you to meet deadlines and you will be there and put in the extra time when it is really needed – but not just as an everyday “habit”.

A common problem is getting management to notice that you are working overtime. After all, how can you expect any recognition and reward for doing overtime that only you know about? You can’t very well keep telling them how many long hours you are working without them wondering if you are cracking up!  You let them know subtly.  For example, if you hand over a report, when your manager says thanks, or if he makes a comment about how you made the deadline, just smile and casually say you stayed back to ensure its completion.  Another subtle way to announce the hours you are working is to send emails to your bosses from your work email while you are there working late.  This will prove what time you were at work because of the date/time of the email.  Likewise, respond to emails from your managers during these extra hours of overtime because again, it provides evidence by the date/time of your email.

If your overtime is a problem that needs your workload to be addressed by management, or you want to negotiate for a promotion or a payrise (or even an assistant to help you!), you will need more than subtle evidence to support your claims. If you are not required to use a timesheet, create your own record.  Keep note of the extra hours you work each day/week, and what you did during those hours – what you achieved. Companies will not be prepared to compensate you if you are just doing overtime to look impressive – they want to know you are really being productive for their benefit. You should not be doing daily overtime just to cover unimportant detail – overtime is for important and/or urgent activity. Keeping a record is also useful when review time comes around.

Now, if you are working overtime that is necessary and you are not being compensated for those extra hours, you must speak up – but do it in a non-aggressive, non-threatening manner.  Don’t barge into your boss’s office demanding extra pay “or else!”  With your overtime record in your hands, negotiate. If you are an unfortunate employee whose company refuses to reward you for the extra time and they give you the message if you don’t like it, leave… you have the option of looking for a new job of course, but also of just not working overtime in future.  You cannot be sacked for working the hours you are paid to work, and while some agreements actually do cover the requirement for some overtime when needed, the emphasis here is on “some overtime when needed” – not overtime every day for no extra compensation.  If productivity suffers and your workload begins to get behind, you have evidence that something is wrong and that you brought it to their attention. It is up to the company to negotiate with you if you are willing to work a certain number of extra hours to keep up, or whether the workload needs to be redistributed more evenly.

When you are seen to be working 50 hours a week instead of the 40 hours you may be hired to do, it doesn’t stand out to management who become used to seeing you do that and they may even think you’re happy with that because you’ve not spoken up.  You also run the risk of having management think you are not competent or capable of achieving what they may consider a reasonable workload in the hours they pay you to achieve it.  Instead of looking productive, they may see you as a time waster who has to work later because you’re not smart enough! When you do overtime on a regular basis, even when it probably isn’t really necessary, you diminish the effect of working overtime in terms of company recognition.

When you want management to see you as leadership material, going the extra mile when needed, will help you achieve that.  You don’t want “Oh, that’s Jack working late… it’s okay, he’s always here at that time.” You want “Oh, wow… look at Jack working late tonight. Isn’t he a reliable guy!”  It’s not fair, but that is often how it can pan out – when you do it every day, it becomes the norm… and ignored.

So in a nutshell, keep a record, let it be known subtly, and speak up and negotiate… because you deserve it.

 Something as simple as happiness should come naturally to us, like breathing, but thanks to the stresses and challenges in life, many people have become confused.  They’ll be happy “when”… They put conditions on being happy that makes it difficult to achieve in the here and now. Some people have forgotten how to be happy! 

 If this sounds like you, here are some helpful tips to bring joy back into your life…

 We are all connected, yet we are each unique and have special gifts and talents. We are ALL ‘okay’!  We also tend to label everything as right or wrong, good or bad, etc.  Shift to the belief that no one is right or wrong, good or bad … they just are and accept that. Doing so will ‘free’ you!

 Release concern about others judging you!  What is right for you does not have to be right for another. It is easier to be yourself when you stop coming from a place of wondering who or what is judging you!

 Don’t try to change or improve others to meet your standards or to believe what you believe. You are not responsible for others in this way – again, free yourself!

 Are you unhappy at work, in a relationship, with your appearance, etc?  What’s stopping you from changing this?  People become stuck because of fear… fear of failing, fear of ridicule, fear of the unknown … Identify your fears and work to overcome them. 

 What ‘steps’ can you start taking today that will result in how you want things to be?  Small steps will still get you to that ‘destination’, but you’ll never get there if you don’t  make a start! 

 Get rid of negative self-beliefs… I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough.  If your life depended on finding good things within yourself, you’d find them… start looking!

 We fret over everything as if we’re supposed to be perfect in everything we do. We put ourselves down at the slightest imperfection.  Well, everybody makes mistakes – learn from them, let them go, and move on!

 Know your values! We have our own sense of integrity and we are happiest when our goals and achievements match our principles. As we move towards the habits that align with our integrity, we feel good about ourselves.

 Know, specifically, what makes you feel happiness, otherwise, how do you expect to bring this into your life if you don’t know what it is? 

 Self-improvement!  When we develop ourselves, we eliminate many disbeliefs about ourselves; we stop putting ourselves down; we see possibilities; we feel peaceful, optimistic and joyous; and we have more fun.

 When was the last time you  laughed at yourself, or at anything?  Can’t find your sense of humor?  Seek out funny movies, funny books, or read the jokes pages on the web.  Start with a chuckle and work your way up!

 “Lighten up” is a popular phrase for good reason.  We have a tendency to take ourselves, our work, and our relationships too seriously. Some things are serious, but for the rest, keep it in perspective! 

 Think back to being a child, running around the playground, laughing, catching fireflies, and rolling in the snow. Remember how you felt, how you were silly and didn’t care if anybody looked at you?  What would it take to recreate those feelings today? 

 As we become adults we forget what it’s like to play games -  we’re too concerned about how other people will perceive us. What are you afraid of?  Has it occurred to you that others may think, “Gosh, I wish I wasn’t so hung-up so I could do that too!”?

  Do something completely out of character and childish this week. Go buy a silly toy. One of my clients plays with Mr. Potato Head! Find a way of making a heavy situation become light by asking yourself, “How would I respond to this if I were a child?” 

 Give other people permission to laugh. Put a clown’s nose on in the car and wave to other people as you drive around. Think of all the ways that you can play games and have fun, and do that with other people you come in contact with everyday.

 Identify your Stress triggers!  Our fast-paced lives, job pressures, the environment, etc. all lead to an excess of stressors for us. Manage your stress with Meditation, hobbies, exercise, yoga, nature walks, friends, etc.

 Don’t say “I’ll be happy if…” or “I’ll be happy when…”.  You only have “now” – you cannot live in the future until it becomes your present – your ‘now’.  You have no choice – it’s be happy “now” or never! 

Finally, don’t put conditions on your happiness! Happiness is a state of mind, regardless of our situation.  Happiness is a choice we make.  Choose to be happy today!

1.       Move your body.

Take a ten-minute walk in or outside the building.  Get your body moving to create greater energy flow.

2.       Talk to a colleague.

Seek out a colleague in your department or another one and let them know you are stuck or feeling stress.  Spend five-minutes or so just talking about how you feel.  Sometimes just verbalizing the feelings out loud makes us feel better.

3.       Take a five-minute catnap.

 
That’s right … put your head down and give your mind a break to work through the block.  It worked in school and it can be useful at work.
 

4.       Turn up the music.

If you have a radio then pick a station to listen to, really concentrate on for five-minutes.  Take your mind off the situation and let the music in.

5.       Eat or drink.

Take a snack break. Enjoy a favorite food or beverage and just relax for a few minutes.

6.       De-clutter your workspace.

Organize your work area. Put things in piles, do some filing, clear off your desktop.  Take your mind off of everything and design a better work area. A cluttered, messy work area can create feelings of stress.

7.       Give yourself a reward.

Have a special meal, call someone you haven’t spoken to in while, schedule a massage or new haircut or pick up vacation brochures.  Lift your spirits and give yourself something to look forward to.

8.       Switch tasks.

Stop working on the current project.  Switch to something you are more in the mood to do. Get yourself into a project or task that has more appeal at the moment and then come back to what you were doing at a later time.

9.       Create momentum.

Get into a routine.  Having a clear routine develops momentum and that will keep you from feeling the stress and getting blocked.

10.    Plan a quick get away.

Plan an escape for the weekend.  Take a trip on a train, plane, bus or take a car ride.  You may even want to bring a bit of work – the change in environment may give way to that block.

I’d like to share some recent testimonials with you…

Within a couple of hours of just a simple presentation, I made $15,000. $15,000 just working with Terri for just a couple of hours. This is how powerful her teaching is and we’re just starting out. I’m looking forward to so much more. We’re building an amazing relationship. I am ecstatic and I know that things are just going to go up from there. I highly recommend Terri Levine.
– Jemila Williams

I have had the extraordinary experience of spending an entire day, one on one, with Terri Levine, the Guru of Coaching. And I have to tell you it made a huge difference for me personally and professionally. Oh my goodness, the breakthroughs we had. I had a quantum leap in my business and how we’re doing business development, how we’re impacting our bottom line, how we’re increasing our profitability. All these conversations I had with Terri when we spent a day together have ended up in those kinds of results. And for me as a business owner, that’s exactly what I’m looking for. I recommend that anybody give themselves the gift of working with Terri. She is extraordinary. She is savvy. She is wise, and at the end of the day, she is going to do great things to help take your business to the next level.
– Kristen Schuerlein

I’m here to tell you that Terri Levine is the real deal. As a coach, I personally haven’t met anybody so genuine, so loving, so giving of her time, her knowledge and her resources. I recently attended her one day speaking event and it was great. She just blew me away with all of the content that she gave us that we could implement immediately. I instantly found out the holes that I needed to fill in my own business and in my own life where I was stuck. It opened a lot of interesting doors for myself as a speaker and as a business woman. I am so grateful for Terri’s work and her giving and I cannot wait to work with her more.
– Susan Creal

There’s two things that are very special about Terri Levine. One is she has this amazing sense to analyze a business and determine what moves you can make to catapult that business into the stratosphere. One idea from a person like Terri who has this amazing sense for business can change that business tremendously. The other thing that is so special about Terri is her heart, her passion. And Terri has an amazing ability to take your passion and your experience and merge them into a business that you love and will create amazing results. Terri Levine, she’s the one.
– Les Schmidt

My first month with Terri gave me awesome momentum. It was an honor to complete her challenge and win the $1000 for my video.
This month, I added an unexpected $3000 to my income. She taught us to do things that stand out and I did a crazy e-mail promotion in a new target market.
So far I’ve ended up with fabulous testimonials, raving fans, and possible new clients, who are already referring their friends.
Warmest regards,
Lin Morel, MA, DSS

Business is more than the bottom line and a balance sheet. People make business happen. To achieve extraordinary business results, cultivate deep and agile relationships with your colleagues, clients, customers, suppliers and competitors. Here are some tips to help you get started:

Create lifelong clients. First impressions are the most critical. Often when people call a business they leave with a lasting impression that is not too stellar. Speak with a warm heart and try not to sound rushed or that the call coming in was an interruption. Smile as you speak on the phone. The smile can be heard and will also keep the person answering the phone more upbeat and positive. Always state your name and then follow with the question, “How can I help you.” Use the caller’s name several times during the conversation. Give the caller your full attention – no paperwork, no computer, no filing — nothing else but your full attention will do. Be sure to read back and repeat any important information including phone numbers, e-mail addresses, etc. Always say thank you for calling before you hang up. Make the first impression one that is profitable and meaningful … create lifelong clients from the beginning.

Always check your bags at the curb. Ditch the beliefs standing in your way. Nothing kills an extraordinary business result quicker than a misplaced belief or a hidden agenda. Be open to thinking in new ways and you’ll discover new possibilities. You will become lighter, move faster, be more spontaneous and cover more ground with less effort.

Surrender the outcome. Being focused on the outcome limits your perspective, hinders your ability to seize opportunities along the way, and makes you less willing to take risks. It’s like running a race with blinders on. Many people tell me they view me as a risk taker. I guess I do often take risks. I see huge personal benefits in doing so. By taking risks, I constantly expand my mind and see new possibilities. I gain more knowledge of myself and I gain courage and self-confidence. Set aside your expectations and fears. When you do, the possibilities will increase. Focus on making each day extraordinary. Answers seldom come to us when we frantically search for them. There is simply no room for them. Our minds, spirits, and bodies are consumed with the search, the pressure to discover, the desire to achieve and the fear of the consequences if we fail. To find our answers, we must create space. I have spent many years reading and attending seminars on “success” and have come away with what works for my own life, and what works in helping my clients live a balanced life or a life filled with success. These are things that I have incorporated into my day-to-day activities and assist my clients in learning to do the same.

Achieving extraordinary results doesn’t have to be a struggle. To reach for effortless and extraordinary results get your heart, head and soul in sync. Create a place of integrity, momentum, harmony and no regrets. Heart + Head + Soul = WOW! Don’t forget to signal before you turn. If you want people to follow your lead, don’t make them guess where you’re headed. Avoid a lot of crashes, fender benders and missed turns by telling folks which direction you are going before you take off. Take advantage of social media networks to keep your friends and clients informed as well as keep in touch.
Wear comfortable shoes. Be yourself. You’ll get more done, have more fun and build more powerful relationships. You may have seen people on network sites such as Facebook who announce how disgusted they are with marketers on those sites who use it for marketing purposes… and then turn around marketing their own events and websites. There is a difference between spam and marketing – know the difference and don’t hide behind misleading statements or comments – people can see through that. Have integrity and be trustworthy otherwise all the brilliant marketing strategies in the world will not help you.

Find the “extra” in the ordinary. Sometimes the answer is right in front of you. Don’t become so blinded by shiny new gizmos that you can’t see the obvious. And most important, lighten up and enjoy the experience. Marketing can be fun!

For more info visit http://www.MarketingwithTerriLevine.com

One of the challenges we all face, as human beings, is that of remaining non-judgmental. We tend to put labels on what we hear, such as right or wrong, good or bad, happy or sad, etc. Even young children hold judgment about what they see, hear, and experience. Somehow, society has trained us to judge others as good or bad and not to accept those who are different from us or what we consider the “norm.” But shifting into coaching mode, we believe that no one is right or wrong, good or bad … they just are, and we accept who or what they are, period. Not always an easy task, admittedly.

Professional Coaches are trained to hold a neutral position. After all, who are we to judge? However, letting go of reacting to what others say or do or who they are is challenging and requires a great deal of practice.

I have a helpful technique to learn the skill of being non-judgmental, and it involves the art of listening.

1. Pick three people you will listen to that you already know.
2. Pick two people you will listen to that you haven’t yet engaged in a conversation.
3. One of the people on your list needs to be someone you hold in judgment in some manner.
4. Before you listen to them, tell yourself not to think about what they say to you with any judgment.
5. Focus on the person you are listening to and not your feelings or what you want to say in reply.
6. Set aside your personal feelings, beliefs, or agendas.
7. Listen to everything as if it was a plain and simple fact and nothing more.
8. Whenever you feel yourself getting emotionally charged or reactive, remind yourself to be quiet and just listen.

With continued practice, you will find that as you put judgment aside, you will gain the benefits of making greater connections with people, you will experience less stress and discomfort, and you will spend less time and energy with negative thoughts and more just being and letting others be.

Of course, treating the cause is the way to remove your blockages, but we know that can take time and meanwhile you have to do something about the everyday symptoms. So here are 10 ways to help relieve your stress and find some more get up and go:

1. Talk to Someone.
A problem shared is a problem halved… or something like that! It’s another well known fact that those who “get it off their chest” recover more quickly. Tell somebody how you are feeling. Maybe share with a colleague or friend over lunch. Keeping it to yourself is not a healthy alternative.

2. Listen to music.
Wherever you are, chances are you have access to a radio or an Ipod… pick your fave station or music, chill out and listen to it for a few minutes. A couple of tunes should be all you need to refresh your mind… you just need to give your mind a short holiday for it to feel refreshed!

3. Get moving.
Exercise has been known to help stress and it is has other health benefits. You don’t have to head for the gym and spend hours working up a sweat. Even a 10-20 minute walk during your lunch box, inside or outside, will make a huge difference to how you feel mentally and physically. Try it.

4. Clean Up your Act.
Literally. There is nothing more demoralizing than sitting amid piles of mess and disorganization where you don’t know where anything is and most of it is unnecessary but adds to the bulk which to you represents ALL the work you have still to get through. No wonder your get up and go got up and left! Who wouldn’t! Clean up. Make neat piles of things you MUST have on your desk, file the rest.

5. Granny naps and catnaps.
Grannies and cats have it right… grab a few mins and put your head down. You will awaken refreshed and ready to get going. Sometimes your mind just needs that little break… better to take 15 mins for a nap then waste a couple of hours in a brain fog that prohibits productivity!

6. Food for Thought.
Does your car run well on empty? No… and neither do humans. Don’t skip meals – and small healthy snacks throughout the day makes for great ongoing fuel. Take a snack break. Do something special and enjoy your fave beverage and relax while you enjoy it… it doesn’t take hours to enjoy a latte and fruit muffin, for example, but the benefits will last!

7. Pat Yourself on the Back.
I’m talking rewards here. Reward yourself. When you have worked very hard or achieved something special, or even if you haven’t and you are overworked treat yourself occasionally. You know what they say about all work and no play, right? Enjoy a nice restaurant meal… get a special haircut… see a concert… go away for the weekend… buy a new outfit. Do something just for you.

8. Do Something Different.
Ever practiced an instrument and kept making errors until you played something different and when you returned to the original tune you played it perfectly? Work is like that. If you’re blocked stop what you are doing and do something else for a bit. Choose something that holds more appeal at that moment – when you go back to the other task you’ll be in a better mood to do it.

9. Have a Routine.
When you are all over the place and don’t know what you should be doing, when, it hardly helps get you in the right frame of mind at the right time in your day. Have a routine. This doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t break your routine occasionally, just that if you have none at all, it makes it difficult to get organized and can lead to stress and lack of confidence because you don’t know where you’re at and have no way to gauge how far off you might be.

10. Get away.
Sometimes taking a few minutes out of the day isn’t enough. Sometimes when things have become too bad you have to take stronger measures… take a real break. Go away for a weekend – take a plane trip somewhere or a train ride. If you must, take some urgent work with you – you may find sitting on a beach or a pleasant holiday resort type environment gives you that little something that makes doing the task more palatable. Being in a relaxed environment can work wonders!

I’ve written to you a few times about our events – but I don’t want to pester you to death.

So this is the last time you – or anyone else – will hear from me about my Business Seminars.

In the last 18 months, I’ve worked closely with 142 different businesses from 98 different sectors and professions.

Some have more than quadrupled their businesses. Many have seen startling growth within weeks of following my simple strategies.

But this success has nearly broken my back, because I help people individually. So I’m closing the doors until I can find a way to grow without compromising standards.

So if you’ve been hesitating, if you’ve been thinking you really MUST do something about making your business the success you know it can be… well, this is your last chance to see what all the fuss is about.

You can come to one of my very last one-day seminars on Friday, May, 21, 2010. The total room capacity on these days is just 40.

How well could YOU do as a result?

• Sarah Findley made an extra $10,386 through one strategy alone.

• Jemila Williams made an additional $15,000 in 2 hours using an idea I suggested – it was so simple, but completely overlooked.

• Lucinda Segal sent one email and multiplied her investment with me seven times – using a far easier approach than the one she had been using.

• Michael Henry has just had his best month ever in five years by using my thinking and with my help and advice.

• Andrea Green-Feinberg has grown her company ten times faster with my help – and become a published author.

• Chi Hung sold $32,000 worth of coaching by doing something I taught her that she had never even considered before.

All these ideas derive from the sales and marketing strategies I personally have used to create my own successful businesses.

http://tinyurl.com/may21seminar

Although this if my final day, the same guarantees – and the same stringent requirements – apply.

1. You can attend at no financial risk whatsoever.

2. You simply have to be a serious business owner – not a wannabe dreamer – determined to do what it takes to succeed

3. You have never been to a Terri Levine event before (as seats are limited for this last date, ‘repeaters’ will not be able to attend – sorry).

If you have ever been in the slightest bit curious about what all your fellow business owners I keep quoting in my letters and emails have been raving about – well, this is your last chance to find out.

By the way, are you thinking this is a publicity stunt and next month you’ll get another email about a Business Seminar I am doing live? That won’t happen.

http://tinyurl.com/may21seminar

Just as a last reminder: register for the very last Business Success Seminar on May 21, 2010. Click here to find out how: http://tinyurl.com/may21seminar

Yours sincerely,

Terri Levine, The Guru of Coaching ®

Comprehensive Coaching U Inc.
727 Mallard Place
North Wales, PA 19454

You may have heard of the expression “be the change you want to see occur in the world”. Yes, it can be a challenge in a world where a percentage of people do not understand the concepts of being considerate, honest or helpful, being in it only for themselves. One of the problems is that some people simply do not see themselves as others see them. They are not aware of their own shortcomings because in their minds, they don’t have any shortcomings.

How do you know if you fall into this category? No offence, but none of us can progress if we are not aware of our shortcomings, because without this knowledge, there is nothing to work with. So let’s quiz Joe Bloggs and if you find yourself identifying with the responses, you may have a little work to do on your self-development… :

1. Being judgmental. I’m always on the look-out for the bad in people so I don’t get taken for a ride. You’ve got to know your enemy! And face it, the world is full of rotten people doing rotten things and I want to spot them before they spot me! You can’t trust anyone. I didn’t get to my position without being a good judge of character. I’m an authority on people. And I know when I’m right. If you don’t agree with me, that’s simply because you’re wrong!

2. Disrespectful. From where I stand, this is MY life and so, only MY rights count in MY life and people need to respect that and respect me. I don’t have to respect them, because they’re all rotten. They’re either richer than me and think they’re better than me and so many of those rich people are conniving ripoff artists, or they’re poorer and they can’t be trusted either because they’re always trying to rip you off, too.

3. Not Being a Good Listener. Who’s not listening now? Didn’t I just say that I don’t have to listen to you? Who are you, anyway? Do you live in my street? I don’t care what unimportant, little thing you have to say. You’re not at my level so how can you have anything to say that’s worth listening to? Go away and stop bothering me!

4. Be interested – not interesting. Who said I’m not interested? I’m interested in the stockmarket, my new car, my next overseas holiday, and my kids’ impressive achievements. Ha, you should hear what we did last holidays, and this suit I’m wearing cost me a fortune, and what about my facelift, now there’s something interesting, and let me tell you about the new contract I won all by myself… oh and did I tell you about little Jimmy getting on the swim team… let me tell you about me, me, me because I’m sure I’m much more interesting than you!

5. Respond from Your Heart. Listen, we didn’t get our trendy suits and our highrise offices by listening with our hearts! I respond with my head… if that makes me a cold unemotional fish, tough. I don’t care what effect that has on you – you’re not my problem. There’s no place in business for ‘hearts’. Home is where the heart is and should stay… did I tell you about my new holiday home, oh, and my new car… now that car has heart!

6. Be truthful. Are you for real? I’m sorry, there’s a time and a place for the truth and you won’t find a time or a place for it in the real world. You can’t go around telling the truth! Nobody tells the truth! Where do you live? Never-Never Land? You certainly don’t live in my street! You want the truth? You’re wasting my time with this drivel.

7. Be helpful. I am helpful. I paid for my secretary’s plastic surgery – this is a win-win – now she looks ten years younger and I have someone to impress the clients with when we go out for dinner… of course, this leaves my wife with more time to spend at home with the kids, which is also important – see? I’m not only helpful, I’m considerate.

8. Maintain Your Integrity and Your Dignity. You won’t find a more dignified person than me. I’m rich. I’m successful. I have the proud bearing of a very dignified person and all that gossip about my bad temper and rudeness in board meetings is just jealous talk. And of course our staff can trust me… I didn’t actually lie to those people who lost their jobs during the company merger… I just thought it better not to tell the whole story!

9. Go the Extra Mile. I jog every morning – we have big houses in our street, and I jog one extra house length each week… What? That’s not what you meant? Well, the extra mile costs time and money… you want I should dip into my profits for someone I don’t even know?

10. Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say. You better believe it! I mean it if I tell you I’m having you removed from the building and if you’re not gone within 60 seconds I’m calling security! And don’t run! It’s undignified! Even for you!

Few of us begin our careers with the intent of doing something else. After all, we’ve invested quite a bit in getting to where we are. Much like Humpty Dumpty, we proudly sit atop our wall of achievements and accomplishments giving little thought to doing anything else. However, with today’s winds of change, it’s pretty likely that sometime in our working lives we will find ourselves tumbling from our safe perch. For most of us the great fall occurs when:

 Our job is eliminated through downsizing.
 Our company is acquired or merges with another company and the new situation no longer appeals to us.
 Our job stays the same but we just can’t get excited about it anymore.

So, after the great fall what are the secrets to putting yourself back together again – better than ever?

Secret 1: Accept that you must let go of things from the past. By its very definition, change begins with an ending. Acknowledge the loss and your feelings associated with it. Realize that it is perfectly normal to feel sadness and some confusion or chaos. Seek support from friends, family members, a therapist or a personal coach. Work through these feelings. Don’t deny or ignore them.

Secret 2: Take a close look at your previous endeavors. Consider each of your past jobs a “test drive”. What are the lessons that can be learned? What aspects did you enjoy? What things did you tolerate? What made your blood boil? What energized you? What were you most proud of accomplishing? Do you see any common threads appearing?

Secret 3: Get to know yourself really well. It’s the best investment you can make in your future. Identify your skills. Listen to your desires. Write a list of your needs and wants. Look at the labels you’ve given yourself. Embrace your values and special gifts. Celebrate your passions. Liberate yourself from the beliefs you drag around like a ball and chain. While it may sound simple, this step can be quite daunting. As the familiar saying goes, “It’s difficult to see the picture when you’re inside the frame.” You can jumpstart this discovery process by partnering with someone who is objective, honest and dedicated to your success – such as a personal coach or a career counselor. Working with a partner dramatically expands your perspective and keeps you anchored as you explore uncharted waters.

Secret 4: Create a destination with soul. Just as change begins with an ending, change ends with a new beginning. Set your sights on a place where your head lines up with your heart. A place built upon the solid foundation of your values, special skills and unique gifts. Use your magic wand and paint the perfect setting for your future. What features from your previous “test drives” do you want to include? How can you best honor your values and share your gifts? Where do you want to be in five years? How do you want to be spending your time? What does your home look like? Who is in your life? How do you feel? Give yourself permission to write down your dreams. Don’t skimp on the details. They are often the keys to unlocking joy.

Secret 5: Enjoy the journey. Now that you know who you really are and where you want to go, the next step is getting there. To make sure your trip is effortless, do some strategic planning before you start out. When’s the best time to begin? Does it make sense to break the journey down into small pieces? What obstacles do you anticipate encountering? What’s your plan for navigating around these obstacles? What type of resources do you need? What’s a realistic and energizing timeline? How will you gauge your progress? As you head down the road, remember to look around. You don’t want to be so focused on your plan that you miss out on wonderful and unexpected opportunities along the way.

Energy. Passion. Happiness. Balance. Peace. Joy. All the King’s horses and all of the King’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again… but why wait for them now that you know the secrets? To hell with the King’s horses and with all of his men, today is a great time to live the life of your dreams!